MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Description of a spare part!‏

Yesterday I was having some work done at the workshop. A woman came in and asked for a 'seven-hundred- ten'.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........
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The mechanic fainted!!

Soft Day~~

Future of dating

Dating With Different Type of Girls

Chineses Meimei



First date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!

Third date
You usually don't get up to third date because you are smart enough to realize that
nothing is ever going to happen.

INDIAN MINACHI



First date
Meet her parents.

Second date
Set the date of the wedding.

Third date
Wedding night.

MALAY MINAH



First date
You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third Date
She moves in.
One week later, her father, , her 4 mother, her 18 sisters, her 20 brothers, all of their kids, her 16 grandmas, her father's girlfriend's mother, her 268 cousins all move in.

But don't worry you can repeat this 4 times. ;-)

WHITE MARY



First Date
You both get drunk and have sex.

Second Date
You both get drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary
You both get drunk and have sex.

ARAB AL-KATIJAH



First Date
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date
You are shot dead.

Third date
Not Applicable

things to do before you die~

stupid... but funny~

好吃就好
一向苛薄、愛挑剔的李大嬸速食店裡點了炸雞吃，是當服務生送來炸雞時，李大嬸就向
她抱怨說：「你們這店怎麼這麼差勁，你看這兩隻雞腿長短不一樣，一隻腿長，一隻腿
短！」服務生聽了大嬸的抱怨後，有點無奈，但卻客氣的問他：「這位太太，請問您是
來吃雞腿的，還是來和雞跳舞的？」

平分秋色
有一天老師在發考卷。大家都考得不太好。
老師念道：「李建國40分...陳浩35分...」
小華跟坐隔壁的小明說：「我好像考零分耶...」
小明：「我也是耶.......」
小華：「那...老師會不會以為… 我們互相作弊啊？」

也是想像畫
美術課時，美術老師要學生畫幅想像畫。不久之後，一位生交出了一張空白的圖畫紙。
老師問：「你畫的是什麼？」
學生答：「牛吃草。」
老師問：「草呢？」
學生答：「被牛吃完了。」
老師問：「牛呢？」
學生答：「牛吃完草就走了！」

自我介紹
班上來了一個轉學生，師請她自我介紹。
她先對大家鞠了個躬，然後開始說：「我未必會是最聰明的」「我未必會是最美麗的」
「我未必會是最優秀的...」
正當大家都稱讚她的謙虛時，她突然說：「大家好，我的名字叫做…『魏碧蕙』！」